My Daddy....

Well, once again it has been months since my last post. Our lives have changed tremendously. I can't say for the best, but it is all apart of God's big plan. And I find peace in knowing that. Since my last post, WAY back in August, actually about a week after that post, my Daddy died unexpectedly. As, I type those words, I can't stop the tears from flowing. It most ways it still seems so unreal to me.

Ace started his first day of Kindergarten (September 8), it didn't go well at all. He was so overwhelmed. I felt so bad for him. So I thought I would cheer him up with a treat of his choice from the store. After we did that we came home. We weren't home but maybe 2 minutes when my phone rang. The call was from my Mom's cell phone, or as my phone says Mimi's cell. When I answered it was my Aunt and when I heard her voice I knew something horrible happened. And it had. My Mom couldn't tell me, so my Aunt did...I'll never forget those words.."Lottie, your Daddy died this morning."

How could that be, I just had talked to him a day before that! Looking back I knew that would be the last time I would talk to him. I felt it in my soul and choose not to listen to the "little voice" that told me that. His last words to me were "Hug and kiss Ace and Aaron for me. Hug Mike. And I'm hugging you right now." When I hung up with him, I cried because I knew he sounded sick. I just never realized how sick he was. My plan was to go home to visit in Septemeber, but we had pushed it back to the Summer of 2011, because I didn't want to pull the kids out of school. That is something I will always regret. I know there's a reason I changed our plans, and even though I didn't get to say goodbye to my Daddy in person, I had the best conversation with him the day before he died. The last words that he said to me are ones that I will treasure forever.

Summer Ends, School Begins!

Well, we have had a relaxing summer! I truely love summer. I love not having to get up so early. I love being able to hangout in our PJ's all day if we want. I love going to the pool, even if is Germany that means I might see a little more than I want, I mean do I really have to see a lady in her ealr 20's without a top to her suit and her skin still in place where it should be... No sagging! HA!! And as an American we are not use to being so comfortable with our bodies so we stare in disbelief. The boys seemed to not notice too much.

We managed to see a few local sites. Germany is so beautiful!! Every time we get in the car, I look at the window and say "Wow, it's so pretty here!" It really is that beautiful and it really amazes me everytime. This summer was sooooo HOT!! Apparently, it was the hottest summer in a long time. We made it to almost 100 a few days and with no AC, it was almost unbearable. But as I sit here now it is maybe 60 outside and raining, so I'm pretty sure summer is over :(.

Aaron starts school tomorrow. I'm still unsure how he became a 4th grader. Where does time go???? Ace will start Kindergarten next Wednesday. That's a whole issue in itself. I've cried nearly daily the past week. It seems like yesterday he was just a baby. He's so excited to start school and I'm excited for him! We met his teacher and her helper and they seem really nice. He seemed to like them and I think that they are a good match for him.

So with the kids going back to school, it is my new mission, to try and keep up on my Blog!!

My New Roll.......

So, this post is not my normal, bragging about the kids, a good deal I found or a new car. It's just about little ole' me. Since we moved to Germany, 7 months now, my life has taken a different roll. Of course, I'm still a mom, wife, daughter and friend. But, I feel like I am just now finding who I am. I went from working and really feeling like I had a purpose to questioning my purpose. Yes, I have always stayed home, but before moving I worked from home and had a clear roll. Well, at least that is how I felt. I was so excited to make this move and get to "just stay home", see the world and be "The Commadant's Wife"! I am the first to admit that I have expectations of my life, don't we all??? I've always wanted to stay home and "raise my own kids". But, now that the time approaches that both will be in school full-time, I find myself wondering "what do I wanna do when I grow up??"

I thought that leaving DC wouldn't be that hard. Of course I knew I would be sad, I had made friends that I loved and adored. Their families had become apart of mine. The reality is that "keeping in touch" is hard. Moving to another country (really feels like another world) makes it that much harder. The time difference is something I have yet to get use to. Of course, I thought we would immediately start "seeing the world". But, during my day dreaming, I must have forgot the kids had school, Mike has work and we have a dog. So we have only managed a few day trips. My days are now consumed with my daily taxi job (school drop offs), laundry, paying the bills, cleaning house and walking the dog. Yes, these keep me busy, but not as busy as I like. Every 6 weeks, I get to "dress up" and go to the Airman Leadership Graduation. Mike is the Commadant (basically he runs a school that is required for all enlisted members to become a NCO). I suppose in my day dreams, I thought dinner parties and lots of socializing. We have had a few and once every 6 weeks or so, the school has a graduation I attend. I get to get dressed up and sit and the head table, because this event is hosted by Mike. As much as I like this event, I get so nervous everytime. We have to stand up and do a "parade wave" to the crowd, usually around 400 people or so. I watch Mike glide through this and I am so proud of his accomplishments. He amazes me!! :) Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my life. I wouldn't trade it for the world. But, I can't help but wonder what my purpose is, other than a mom, wife, daughter and friend? Yes those things are amazing! Really they are.

I want to work, but don't know what I want to do. I have my cosmetology license, but don't want to do that. I have consumed these past 9 years with the boys and now that they will both be in school, my roll is changing. As far as I don't have someone at home with me all day. It is forcing me to get out and make friends. As outgoing as I am, this move has challenged me the most, as far as making friends. Maybe because I was so blessed with the friends I left in DC. I have realized that being a military family, you make life long friends and you leave them with each move. They are always apart of your life, but with each move you add a new friend knowing that in a few years you will leave them behind. Sure you'll keep in touch with some, through cards, email, and Facebook. I didn't realize how much of a roll that my friends played in my daily life until this move.

I don't want to work, because I don't want to miss a field trip or any of the boys activities. Of course, I could still go on field trips and work and do activities, but having worked before I know that some field trips or activites will be sacraficed. I have done that before and it is OK, just not what I want right now in my life. This last week I went on a field trip with Aaron. I loved it and he did too. I overheard him tell his friend "This is the best field trip ever!" Later he told me that he had the most fun with me!! That was just what I needed. Those few words made me realize that I will embrace the new roll I have come upon and put my dreams aside a few more years! Before I know it my baby boys, will be big boys....

Who???

Who you ask in student of the month??? Yep my baby Aaron!!! He was awarded student of the month for showing kindness...Yep he makes my heart melt!! He has to be the most thoughtful little boy's I know. I'm not saying that because he is my child, but simply because it's the truth.

He always is thinking of others before himself. This isn't new to him, it is how he has always been. I remember when he was in 2nd grade, he came home and said he wanted to give his $10, to flood victims, (he had earned over a course of a month for doing chores), at offering during chapel time at school. Of course I was all for it, but thought it was necessary to explain that he didn't have to if he wanted to give $5 that was fine whatever he wanted. He looked at me with those big blue eyes and said "Mom, I know, but they need it more than me."...TEAR!!! :) So here's to one of my many blessings....I love you Aaron!!

Swimming 101

Although it is the middle of winter here in Germany, we are so blessed to be at a base that has an awesome Indoor Swimming Pool! Last month I signed the boys up for swimming lessons. They both love to swim and are really good swimmers, but to me swimming is such a life skill. So for the past 3-4 summers I have signed Aaron up. Really, I signed them up here so that they would have something to do on the weekend, I mean it did feel a little weird to signup for swim lessons right in the middle of a snow storm. Any whoooo....

Our first few lessons went great! Aaron was doing great and his instructor said he would be right on target within the next 2 lessons! Great!! Music to Mom's ears! Ace is a really good swimmer for his age. I attribute this to Keyona , dragging always inviting us to join her and Lael at the pool. With that said, the swim lessons were set up much different here. So I went with a level that I thought Ace would do just fine in. Not too hard, but not too easy. RIGHT!!! After this last lesson....in which I sorda pretended that he was not my child. Yes I did say that. He was a maniac!! Jumping all over the place, spashing water, I suppose normal "pool stuff", but he was suppose to be learning how to swim. As I sat there, I really thought I was going to pass out when he threw a diving ring and it nearly knocked a lady out. I smiled and almost turned my head, ya know like I was looking around for "that kids" Mom. But, I didn't I smiled and apologized. I have to say she didn't look too amused. After the class I approached the instructor and apologized for Ace's "wildness" and to my surprise she says "Oh, no Ace is a great swimmer! He needs to be moved up a few levels, I think he's just bored." Oh, music to Mom's ears, music to Mom's ears!

Addicted to dents....

Dents...I've grown to love dents. Rips, scratches a small tear, yes those too! A few weeks after we arrived in Germany I noticed the "Clearance Corner" at the commissary (grocery store for those that aren't military). It is my new obsession. I try and go a few days out of the week, after I drop Aaron off at school. Well, today was my big score! Everyday I go I see an older man there. He always makes it there before me Ahhhhh!!! So of course he gets the good stuff! Well, not today Mr. Old Man! Today, I bought 44, yep you heard it right 44 items for $25.03. That's a steal :)! The best part was I had a few coupons that I was able to use with the already reduced items. I know, I know what and exciting life I lead...HA!

Just for Aunt Spicy

Well, I've been soooo behind! So I gotta a little knudge, well, I would say more like a PUSH from Aunt Spicy! Thanks~~it was just what I needed. So here is a little update.

We are still adjusting to Germany. We start our travels in March. The winter has been rough. Our landlord says it's the worst in at least 10 years. It has been cold and snowed, snowed snowed!! Now, I should let all know I love snow, well, I thought I did, but now I have realized maybe I just "like it"!

Really, I do think it is so pretty, but here's the thing...we live in the next to the last village in our county. What that means for us is our roads are NEVER cleared! Our village is very small and is set down in the hills so we have to drive up hill to get out. But, with that said my new cars all wheel drive is AWESOME! The pictures above are ones I took on our way home. Nearly everytime I drive home I am in amazement of just how pretty Germany is. It is so different from the states. They don't have all the technology that we have, which means there is still so much land to look at. Not a ton of powerlines and cables. I love that! In March we have family coming and have decided that is when our travels will start. I am so excited! So here's to you Aunt Spicy! It was just the knudge (PUSH) I needed!